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Over the last 10 years, even 5 years or 2 years my life has changed. I am doing some serious soul searching at the moment to try and understand what makes me happy, what makes me successful and to be able to put a finger on what doesn’t work for me. I had an amazing Skype session the other night with Mariska Anderson which allowed me to write my lifes purpose statement, which I’ll share below.

What I discovered is that when I trust my intuition, things work. I am incredibly beliefs driven and when I follow my beliefs, things work for me. When I take selfish action and do what I know to be right for me, things work. When I do what other people expect me to do, or put others before me it doesn’t work. It was an immense session and one that I got a LOT of value out of.

I’ve also been looking into astrology a fair bit and understanding more about myself. I’ve always known that my star sign was a gemini but what i didn’t realise was that there are 3 signs, the sun the moon and the ascendent star signs. It has been a really interesting journey and one that has helped me see myself more honestly. I’m still making mistakes, but I’m learning from them. I’m not perfect, but then nobody is.

I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life right now. That is a huge statement to make and I’m proud to be able to do so. Here is my lifes purpose statement that I wrote with Mariska’s help.

“The purpose of my life is to nurture, love and protect, create beautiful things every day and to be a source of profound strength. I am proof that wonderful things beyond our wildest dreams do exist if you believe in them strongly enough and dare to take action.

I am here to embody leadership, transformational strength and wisdom and I show the strength of real femininity in the roles I choose in my life. I am here to express love, connection and soft, gentle power. I am here to stand up and be counted, to show my true self and to experience total acceptance and love from my family. I am here to see my dreams turn into reality because of my profound belief in myself. I am here to explore all possibilities of my intuition, belief and ability to lead from those strengths.

My purpose is to speak my truth and to nurture, support and inspire others as they undergo transformations. I am here to show the world what you can achieve if you believe in something strongly enough. I am strong, I am wise and I love to help others see their own light by setting an example of self-belief, integrity and intuition.”

 

A couple of weeks ago I was interviewed by Zoe Richards on what makes my life a lemonade life. It tells you a little bit more about me.

I’ve been doing a lot of work behind the scenes recently, on both me and my online presence. You can expect a shiny new website here early in August as well as lots of other big reveals.

Some of the work I;ve been doing has been around forgiveness. I’ve realised that while I hold on to a lot of hate and frustration with myself, other people and events that I won’t ever be able to move on with my life. I am at such a huge turning point in my life right now that i want to move forwards with as little baggage as possible.

I’ve moving on by working on the following :

Releasing my money blocks
Yoga
Meditation
Cutting my etheral ties
EFT
And a WHOLE lot of forgiveness techniques

A lovely new client of mine recommended that I listen to some of the meditations here, especially the inner child ones. http://www.flowerspirit.co.uk/soulmedicine/ I have bought and downloaded them and am now waiting for the right quiet time to listen to them.

 

I have this re-occurring dream, it comes to me whenever I am in the middle of change (as I am now). I’ve always wondered what it means and why it comes to me at certain times. I was lucky enough to be offered a dream analysis (and the chance to review her new book which you can buy here http://amzn.to/TzWv4j) by Naomi Goodlet and I was quick to take her up on it.

She started off by asking me the following :

1) Relay your dream story - include as many details as you can remember (keep it under 500 words)
2) Tell me about your feelings in the dream and your feelings about the dream components in regular waking life.
3) Tell me what was happening for you around the time of the dream.

I spent some time and emailed her the details of my dream, she came back with questions and we chatted on email for a while until she has all the information she needed. She told me that it would take 4-8 weeks to analyse the dream but in fact it took just 2.

Her comments were so surprising to me but made perfect sense. She took the dream in a whole different direction to the one I thought that it was going in and opened up some interesting thoughts for me. The analysis she sent me was both detailed and descriptive, she started by going into the imagery in the dream and telling me what each part meant (for instance the fact that I was in my comfortable scruffy clothes meant that I was starting the dream from a place of acceptance and peace) and then moved into a general description of what she felt my subconscious was trying to tell me.

I’ve never had a dream analysed before and it was an awesome experience. Thank you Naomi!

 

 

 

 

The end of school term is fast approaching, and with it all that it usually brings. Concerts, discos, those long summer weeks stretching ahead, new classes to go to in September, frayed tempers and that sense of frustration with the routine of school and life. I always find that the last few weeks of summer term are the ones when I get most “I don’t wanna go to schools” and more tales of squabbles and disagreements. Its like after months of being in the same classroom as their friends, sometimes they just can’t take it any more.

This year is different yet again. My children and I are moving house. To a new home, 90 miles away from their dad and their friends. To a new home, with my new partner and all the good and bad that this will bring.

We’re all excited and nervous, but in different amounts. I have faith that it is the right move for us, but I am prepared for it to be difficult in the short term. Nobody likes change, especially children who crave routine but we’ll all be OK. We’ve survived all that the last few years have thrown at us, and I’m positive that we can survive and thrive this too.

 

 

Ok so that’s maybe a little tongue in cheek, obviously you need far more than just wine but it really does help. Take tonight for instance, its been a tough week again and the kids are at their dads. I am on the sofa in my PJs catching up on a few worky bits and watching Breaking bad series 5 on DVD. I would love a glass of wine right now but with nothing in the house I’ve had to make do with diet coke.

I wouldn’t really swap love for wine though, not usually anyway. Just tonight maybe!

 

I’ve posted this before but I just came across it and it pulled at my heart strings. My baby is now 4 and I still have that little hand knitted hat that I made for her. Sigh.

If you’ve never loved your best friend so much that it breaks your heart every time you see them hurt,

If you’ve never walked through the streets crying trying to find your best friend who you know is going to try and kill themself,

If you’ve never hugged your best friend so tightly you never want to let go and then walked out of their house knowing that their husband beats them but knowing that you can’t make them leave,

If you’ve never wrestled pills from your best friend’s hand and hidden them so that they won’t take them all at once,

If you’ve never crept up stairs in the dark and found your best friend lying on the floor sobbing like their heart is broken and lay down with them and hugged them and cried with them,

If you’ve never stood up to your best friend’s husband and told them that if they ever touch her again you’ll call the police on them,

If you’ve never lay awake for nights on end worrying that you will never see your best friend again,

If you’ve never agreed to pass on certain special items to your best friend’s family if and when they take their own life,

If you’ve never held your best friend in your arms while they ask you why over and over again, why doesn’t he love me, why does he hurt me,

If you’ve never done ANY of this then you don’t know where I am right now. As I promise to be her friend forever and to stand by her no matter what he does to her or she does to herself or the rest of the world do to them. As I tell her I will love her forever and be there by her side forever because this is what I do for people that I love, even though every time I look at her bruised face and body I want to cry, every time I walk out of there I wonder if I’ll see her alive again, every time I hug her I dont want to let her go.

Its been a hard few weeks for me, but I know it is harder for her. She’ll survive this if I have any say in it. The other option is just unbearable.