Children | Kerrie Rycroft

How do you manage it?

I used to be scared of people asking me how I managed everything, because I really felt like I didn’t. I had a big company, a house to run, 4 children and from the outside everyone thought my life was perfect, but it wasn’t - it was one big fat juggle of a mess that left me crying myself to sleep most nights.

Over the past 3 years I have learned a lot about how to manage to do everything I do. I am one of life’s big achievers, yes. But I also have a fair amount of the lazy bitch inside me, I love to do nothing as much as the next person!

What I’ve learned is that it’s OK to be me. In fact, it’s great to be me.

I currently have 2 busineses that I am building, 4 children, a partner, a big 5 bedroom home with a huge garden to look after, 11 pets and still have time to myself to read, run, go out with friends and just be ME.

I’ve never realised that there was anything special about this, until I have been more in touch with myself recently and have learned to stop and listen to what is being said to me.

This is what I’ve learned :

- Feeding a family of 6 on a budget of £80 a week and consistently not spending more than that and being able to buy whatever you fancy and cook lovely homecooked meals from scratch most nights is not normal. It is a superhero skill and it is something that I can teach other people how to do.

- Being able to go from building a lego house to building a business and back in the space of just a few minutes is awesome.

- The same principles you might apply to growing your business can be applied to growing your life. To growing your relationships. To growing YOU.

My personal development and growth has been huge over the last 3 years. I have learned so much about myself and now I want to share it with you. I built a business from scratch to over 1 million pounds, and lost it. I suffered serious cyber bullying. I split up from my husband and parented my 4 children alone. We were technically homeless for 2 months. I have had to go to foodbanks to feed my family. I have lost everything, and still been able to bring my children up in a way that makes me smile and be thankful for every minute.

If you want to know more about my story and to hear about how I can help you if you feel that you are juggling family, house, business, relationships, children and more than please join my webinar list, I’ll be running the first one next week and will confirm the date and time as soon as I can.

Hugs
xxx

Lucky Bitch

So we’re all still fitting into our new normal here, today my eldest was supposed to get on a bus to school for the first time. So I drive her to the next nearest town, she gets on the bus she was supposed to and 30 seconds later I look in my rear view mirror to see her off the bus, standing at the side of the road crying. It was the wrong bus. No big deal.

I took her home with me and instead of being stressed that this was going to cause problems and delays and changes to the routine my first thought was “brilliant, she can help me do the little girls hair when we got back” which she did gladly. She walked the small 3 to school with me and then I drove her straight to school.

She was late. I missed my morning run. I had to drive an extra 20 miles that I hadn’t planned for in terms of time and petrol.

Usually this kind of thing would stress me out seriously. Today as I drove back through the beautiful countryside all I could think of was how lucky I was to not have a 9-5 job so that I could be there for the children and run them around like this, and how much I liked having 1 on 1 time in the car with her to talk about friends, life, the universe and everything.

I am a lucky bitch. Who is now running late for most of the day but it doesn’t really matter, it will all work out in the end.

I love being a lucky bitch and you can too, check out the bootcamp that I am a member of here and begin making changes to your life and luck today. I made back my investment in the first month and it has changed my life. (affiliate link)

My family

I’m so proud of my little family. These kids bounce back from so many challenges that are thrown at them in life and I know that i can take them anywhere and they will behave amazingly and make me proud.

This is them with my lovely friend at her birthday party last week. It was a party in a pub full of people they didnt know. We had a blast!

Quality time

\

One of my biggest worries about having 4 children of such different ages and needs is making sure that each one of them feels like they get the right amount of quality time with me. My eldest is 13 and I know that we have good time alone to chat about anything and everything. She talks to me about her day, her worries and is not afraid to ask me “embarrassing” questions, even if this is sometimes done from behind a cushion. We have an agreement that I will answer any question she asks me as honestly as I can and that I will never be upset with her for telling me something that I dont want to hear. Over the last year she has sometimes asked me questions that I don’t want to answer, but I have, and has told me that things that I do have upset her in some way. I always try and modify my behaviour so that it doesnt have a negative effect on the kids wherever possible, or talk it through with her if its something that’s important to me. I love my relationship with her, its very healthy and I hope I manage to keep it this way for as long as possible.

Beccause I work from home I have a lot of time with my youngest while the others are at school. Her and her nanny are often home for lunch and if so I try and sit with them and eat. She pops in and out of my office when they are at home and I’ve got used to her little voice shouting hello and goodbye when they are coming in and out of the front door. Although its only snippets of time with her I never say no to her appearing with a book in my hand and climbing on my knee while I’m working. My photobooth app is full of cheesy faced pics of the 2 of us and there is a special place in my heart for our one on one time.

Its a lot harder with the middle 2. My son and I have a scant 20 minutes a week in the car together with nobody else around. Part of our routine is to do a quiz on the radio together which we both look forward to and of course there are the times when we are on our way to trumpet practice but that really doesnt count. He does sleep in bed with me once a week which is nice for both of us but I am conscious that he doesnt get as much quality one on one time with me. I often go and lay on his bed and chat to him while he is hanging out in his room but I feel like more of an annoyance sometimes. He is good at coming to find me when he needs me and he gets one evening a week at his dads without any of the girls there and I hope that this time with his dad is worth a lot to him.

My middle girl again gets less time with me than the others. We go to ballet together once a week which is a nice bit of time without the other children and she does like me to curl up on the sofa and watch a film with her every now and again. She reads to me and we chat while she is in the bath but I feel like its less time than the others get.

This is the challenge. With a full time job and only 5 days a week with the children anyway due to the (important) time thy send with their dad, is it possible to give everyone the level of attention that I think they deserve? I have to trust my instincts and carve time out as and when I think it is needed. I don’t suppose this will ever feel like enough for my mum guilt but its a step in the right direction.

Planning for Christmas

Photo by Forever Imagery

I can’t believe how quickly this year has disappeared. Its been my first full year on my own since I split up with my husband and its been harder than I ever thought but for all the right reasons. This time last year I was holding the kids hands through their first Christmas without mum and dad both together on Christmas day. Now we all seem to be in the groove of handing kids back and forth between homes. They see both of us a lot and although this year has seen tears from each of them over the new structure of our families I think that we’ve handled it well and we’re all relatively unscathed.

They’ve had a lot to deal with this year including meeting new partners on both sides and dealing with having extra children and people in their homes, but my kids make me proud each and every day and I’ve never been more sure that they are going to be OK.

We’re busy planning Christmas and the main focus for me is that they are both happy and surrounded by people who love them. That’s what this time of year is all about to me. That and reflecting back over the last 12 months and planning the next year. I’m looking for stability and simplicity in my life in 2014. Shouldn’t be too much to ask for, should it?

A time to reflect

I’m sitting here on my sofa having put the smallest 2 children to bed, thinking of the other half of my family, my husband and the eldest 2, who are over the other side of the world in a tropical climate - far far away from me. Today my big 2 went to their first ever funeral, without me. I know they’ll be OK but still, it feels odd. Like I should have been there with them. The house feels empty with just 3 of us here, not bad, just different.

I have work to do. I have tidying up to do. I have a list as long as my arm of things that I need to do. But I think I’ll sit. And knit. And reflect on life and my family for a bit longer.

I haven’t watched TV since they’ve been gone (apart from kids programmes with the little 2) I thought I’d fancy watching a film tonight but I don’t. I fancy silence. Just the sound of the dishwasher in the kitchen and the click of my knitting needles.

A day in the life of a 2 year old

Today Wayne and I only have our 2 year old at home, the rest are out with their aunt doing grown up things on the last day of the holidays.

I realised this morning that we never ask Reid what she wants to do as she always just follows the rest of us around so when we had eaten breakfast I said to her, right then Reid - what are we going to do today.

First on the list, painting. Followed by colouring. So we sat at the kitchen table and made a good old mess. We drew flowers, cars, christmas trees, drew around out hands and painted them, used our thumbs and fingers and an old eraser to paint with and had a good old time. Then she stopped, said I’m finished now, lets wash our hands and that was the end of painting.

Then she wanted to go for a walk. So we put on our wellies and hats and headed out to the Flitch way (this is an old train track that hasn’t been used for years and that runs 15 miles - its about 20 yards from our back door) We walked, climbed hills, stomped in mud and puddles, picked some grass, played with sticks, chased dogs, said morning to people on bikes and joggers and stood under the bridge and shouted hello and laughed at the echos.

On the way back she looked up at me and said “watch Gnomeo and Juliet next?” with such a smile on her face that I couldn’t say no. We got home and she sat on the sofa and asked for the quilt over her. I sat next to her, she covered me up to and then shouted “dad, we’re ready now”

So here we are on the sofa watching Gnomeo and Juliet. I wonder what she has in mind for us this afternoon? I love this little one….

Creative Scribbling

I love encouraging the kids to draw and write. I found this old envelope with Brooke’s interpretation of how our family will look in 2018.

I love the fact that she has us living in a cottage with Wayne doing the gardening and me riding around on a horse while she drives Trin and Cam around in her car. I plan to save this and show her it in 2018 and see how right she was.

Flickr, revisiting old photos

I just joined a flickr group that Natalie set up and in doing so, rediscovered my old flickr account and photos.

Oh My.

How much has changed in the last 2 years?

This was Christmas day when Reid was just 3 weeks old. (also about 3 months before Brooke went into her brace. Sob. Look at those shoulders? We don’t see those any more. Sob again.)

And this is a lovely photo of her and I at the beach on valentines day 2010.

These pictures and the rest in my flickr stream actually make me feel very emotional and broody!

2011 - a brief recap

With only 6 hours to go until next year its time for my mini recap of 2011. I’ve spoiled myself with lovely Marks and Spencers food for this evening, I almost can’t wait to get these kids to bed.

A lot has happened this year. Business wise we’ve had some good times and some very very bad times. Personal wise its been OK, but next year needs to be better!

The best thing that has happened this year :

Launching Handmade Living and seeing the amazing response to the magazine that Charlotte and I have dreamed of for the longest time. Mum and I saw a lady in WHS in Cambridge today who picked it up off the shelf to buy, I think we scared her though when we announced who we were and practically stalked her to the checkout!

The worst thing that has happened this year :

KAL Media going into liquidation.

What am I most proud of?

Keeping going. When I’ve wanted to curl up in a ball and quit so many times these last 12 months I’m really proud of every day that I manage to get out of bed and get on with it.

What have I learned about myself?

That its OK to admit to making mistakes and its OK to hate yourself for making them, but don’t dwell. Move on.

What new skills have I learned?

How to run! This time last year I had never even run for a bus. Now I can run 5 miles. I was also reminded by clever mum in Cambridge this afternoon that you can only rely on YOU to make YOU happy. If you’re happy then anyone else can come along for the ride but you can’t rely on them to make you happy.

Here’s to a successful 2012 for us all!

Happy New Year! xx

Archives

Archive of ‘Children’ category