Mum stuff | Kerrie Rycroft

How do you manage it?

I used to be scared of people asking me how I managed everything, because I really felt like I didn’t. I had a big company, a house to run, 4 children and from the outside everyone thought my life was perfect, but it wasn’t - it was one big fat juggle of a mess that left me crying myself to sleep most nights.

Over the past 3 years I have learned a lot about how to manage to do everything I do. I am one of life’s big achievers, yes. But I also have a fair amount of the lazy bitch inside me, I love to do nothing as much as the next person!

What I’ve learned is that it’s OK to be me. In fact, it’s great to be me.

I currently have 2 busineses that I am building, 4 children, a partner, a big 5 bedroom home with a huge garden to look after, 11 pets and still have time to myself to read, run, go out with friends and just be ME.

I’ve never realised that there was anything special about this, until I have been more in touch with myself recently and have learned to stop and listen to what is being said to me.

This is what I’ve learned :

- Feeding a family of 6 on a budget of £80 a week and consistently not spending more than that and being able to buy whatever you fancy and cook lovely homecooked meals from scratch most nights is not normal. It is a superhero skill and it is something that I can teach other people how to do.

- Being able to go from building a lego house to building a business and back in the space of just a few minutes is awesome.

- The same principles you might apply to growing your business can be applied to growing your life. To growing your relationships. To growing YOU.

My personal development and growth has been huge over the last 3 years. I have learned so much about myself and now I want to share it with you. I built a business from scratch to over 1 million pounds, and lost it. I suffered serious cyber bullying. I split up from my husband and parented my 4 children alone. We were technically homeless for 2 months. I have had to go to foodbanks to feed my family. I have lost everything, and still been able to bring my children up in a way that makes me smile and be thankful for every minute.

If you want to know more about my story and to hear about how I can help you if you feel that you are juggling family, house, business, relationships, children and more than please join my webinar list, I’ll be running the first one next week and will confirm the date and time as soon as I can.

Hugs
xxx

Lucky Bitch

So we’re all still fitting into our new normal here, today my eldest was supposed to get on a bus to school for the first time. So I drive her to the next nearest town, she gets on the bus she was supposed to and 30 seconds later I look in my rear view mirror to see her off the bus, standing at the side of the road crying. It was the wrong bus. No big deal.

I took her home with me and instead of being stressed that this was going to cause problems and delays and changes to the routine my first thought was “brilliant, she can help me do the little girls hair when we got back” which she did gladly. She walked the small 3 to school with me and then I drove her straight to school.

She was late. I missed my morning run. I had to drive an extra 20 miles that I hadn’t planned for in terms of time and petrol.

Usually this kind of thing would stress me out seriously. Today as I drove back through the beautiful countryside all I could think of was how lucky I was to not have a 9-5 job so that I could be there for the children and run them around like this, and how much I liked having 1 on 1 time in the car with her to talk about friends, life, the universe and everything.

I am a lucky bitch. Who is now running late for most of the day but it doesn’t really matter, it will all work out in the end.

I love being a lucky bitch and you can too, check out the bootcamp that I am a member of here and begin making changes to your life and luck today. I made back my investment in the first month and it has changed my life. (affiliate link)

Quality time

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One of my biggest worries about having 4 children of such different ages and needs is making sure that each one of them feels like they get the right amount of quality time with me. My eldest is 13 and I know that we have good time alone to chat about anything and everything. She talks to me about her day, her worries and is not afraid to ask me “embarrassing” questions, even if this is sometimes done from behind a cushion. We have an agreement that I will answer any question she asks me as honestly as I can and that I will never be upset with her for telling me something that I dont want to hear. Over the last year she has sometimes asked me questions that I don’t want to answer, but I have, and has told me that things that I do have upset her in some way. I always try and modify my behaviour so that it doesnt have a negative effect on the kids wherever possible, or talk it through with her if its something that’s important to me. I love my relationship with her, its very healthy and I hope I manage to keep it this way for as long as possible.

Beccause I work from home I have a lot of time with my youngest while the others are at school. Her and her nanny are often home for lunch and if so I try and sit with them and eat. She pops in and out of my office when they are at home and I’ve got used to her little voice shouting hello and goodbye when they are coming in and out of the front door. Although its only snippets of time with her I never say no to her appearing with a book in my hand and climbing on my knee while I’m working. My photobooth app is full of cheesy faced pics of the 2 of us and there is a special place in my heart for our one on one time.

Its a lot harder with the middle 2. My son and I have a scant 20 minutes a week in the car together with nobody else around. Part of our routine is to do a quiz on the radio together which we both look forward to and of course there are the times when we are on our way to trumpet practice but that really doesnt count. He does sleep in bed with me once a week which is nice for both of us but I am conscious that he doesnt get as much quality one on one time with me. I often go and lay on his bed and chat to him while he is hanging out in his room but I feel like more of an annoyance sometimes. He is good at coming to find me when he needs me and he gets one evening a week at his dads without any of the girls there and I hope that this time with his dad is worth a lot to him.

My middle girl again gets less time with me than the others. We go to ballet together once a week which is a nice bit of time without the other children and she does like me to curl up on the sofa and watch a film with her every now and again. She reads to me and we chat while she is in the bath but I feel like its less time than the others get.

This is the challenge. With a full time job and only 5 days a week with the children anyway due to the (important) time thy send with their dad, is it possible to give everyone the level of attention that I think they deserve? I have to trust my instincts and carve time out as and when I think it is needed. I don’t suppose this will ever feel like enough for my mum guilt but its a step in the right direction.

Planning for Christmas

Photo by Forever Imagery

I can’t believe how quickly this year has disappeared. Its been my first full year on my own since I split up with my husband and its been harder than I ever thought but for all the right reasons. This time last year I was holding the kids hands through their first Christmas without mum and dad both together on Christmas day. Now we all seem to be in the groove of handing kids back and forth between homes. They see both of us a lot and although this year has seen tears from each of them over the new structure of our families I think that we’ve handled it well and we’re all relatively unscathed.

They’ve had a lot to deal with this year including meeting new partners on both sides and dealing with having extra children and people in their homes, but my kids make me proud each and every day and I’ve never been more sure that they are going to be OK.

We’re busy planning Christmas and the main focus for me is that they are both happy and surrounded by people who love them. That’s what this time of year is all about to me. That and reflecting back over the last 12 months and planning the next year. I’m looking for stability and simplicity in my life in 2014. Shouldn’t be too much to ask for, should it?

Busy busy

Where does the time go? This new part time job plus the freelance, networking is taking up pretty much every ounce of brain power I have. Walking into an office where everyone knows each other was one of the scariest things I’ve done recently but it was all good. I’m settled in now and making good progress.

Networking is more fun than I thought it would be. I’m averaging 3 meetings a week, it’s a little like I imagine alcoholics anonymous to be, the first time you stand up in front of strangers and say “hello, my name is kerrie and I’m……” is the hardest. I’ve met and collected over 100 business cards from people in the last couple of months and it’s good for my soul to introduce myself to so many people. Not one of them has said anything negative, I’ve had a couple of “I’ve heard of you” from people but it seems I’m not as infamous as I thought.

I’ve even been painting a bit recently. Nothing amazing but it’s so relaxing. Had a lovely mothers day yesterday and am relishing every second I get with the kids (currently on sofa, under duvet watching ice age 4 for the millionth time)

Walton on the naze

I spent the afternoon here today at my fave local beach. Even wind, rain, complaining kids, a fight with strange men and sobbing on my sister in laws shoulder for hours didn’t stop it from being an amazing time.

My kids are amazing. I’m very lucky.

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