Guest post by Kerry Hales
Fed up! I was fed up and every time I looked in the mirror she was too. I was really fed up with ‘her’ being fed up and me taking the flack! No matter what ‘I’ did she looked back and there it was… the same feeling… not good enough!
Not good enough eh! Ever had that feeling? Well that was me. In March this year my mum passed. As a strong offspring of hers, I dealt with this as I do most things – and how she taught me… to ‘just get on with it’.
What made this day was different was I had a call with my coach. In that very long session we spoke about my beliefs, aspects of my life which I wanted to change and that was when we I talked about the conversation I have with ‘her in the mirror’ daily. I didn’t love what I saw, in fact I called her the ‘old ladies body’. She was 46 and was wearing old ladies knickers; they were bought by mum and due to her condition she couldn’t wear them. This was two-fold in its issues; I was wearing a 70 year old’s discarded (albeit never worn) underwear and that I had taken them in as my own. I was wearing old women’s underwear that was supporting my ‘poor me’ mentality.
So I ask you at this point. Where are you undervaluing yourself?
So I changed. That belief became ‘My body is HOT, HEALTHY and STRONG’ Sh*t me. I said it and laughed. Me! Oh yeah right. Who the f*ck did I think I was… 26?! But I was determined to change this and if I could do this… and believe me, I thought I was totally passed it. My ‘ship’ had sailed etc. She was never gonna be that hot chick again… But Miss Determination was a fighter and so I thought I shall try this ‘belief’ stuff…
First went the knickers! Yup. I went upstairs and took them all out. In a bag went everything that didn’t make me feel great when I pulled them out. So that was 95% of my knicker drawer gone. To the shops I went. Now I would love to say I went to Rigby and Pellar but I went to Tesco’s (no link required there…) and I bought something pretty and something that scared me a little – the kind I used to wear before I had children… And there it changed. I took back the control of who I wanted to be. I took it back. For me. Not because I need to ‘show’ anyone else, but to show me that I am just lovely. I am. And no matter what size my bum is, it is just gorgeous.
Next up was what could I do to change the physical side of me. Now there was a lot of talk in my house at the time about the wonder that is Joe Desena and his love of burpees and this also coincided with me seeking something to post to combat the 100 days till Christmas posts on Facebook that I was sick of… So my burpee challenge was born. Now please do not think this took a lot of planning. It literally was one thought upon another and ‘Oh look there we have it’. It’s how a lot of my ideas are born and then MissyD (miss determination) gets her mits on it, off we go… Off I went on a daily challenge. Daily I do one extra burpee, until Christmas eve and today is Day 80. Today, I undertook 80 of these beasts that people scare from just saying the word. Now here comes the best bit.
There is NOTHING you can’t do if you do a daily action to get it.
I am twenty days away from completing my ‘challenge’ but my wins in doing this have been insurmountable. I have been able to see my mind in action daily. Every day there is a reason not to do this. Not to do this mad thing that I set. That I set! Me. I did this. It really has nothing to do with anyone else’s feelings or motives. Just me. And it has given me the outlet every morning to be alone with me, pushing myself through. Not giving in. Over the last two months I have had migraines, sleepless nights, poorly children, aches, sniffles, feet aches, ingrown toenails flaring up, heart aches, sadness pouring out of every breath… and this list could be attached to anything I do and everything I want.
So what is the lesson I want to share with you? That how you do anything IS how you do everything. Yes that’s certainly one. To put YOUR LIFE first. So when you take a look around (now is a very good time to do this) and see that this is not what you want. Take that all the way in. Take responsibility for it. It is yours to change. Totally. No one else to blame here. Just you and the girl in the mirror. Now tell me… ‘What do you really want?’ and what ‘Daily Action’ can you take to change that belief?
Kerry Hales is a Transformational Life Coach who works with women on how to change their lives daily. If you want to get to know her better and what she could do for you, sign up to her newsletter. It will change your life. Be warned.